Slump

About a month ago, I went through what I can only describe as a slump. I wasn't depressed. Not sad about any specific event. But I struggled to find motivation for anything.

My job was taking up most of my productive energy. I was just keeping InboxReads in maintenance mode. And I felt like I couldn't find the energy to do anything I wanted to do.

I felt that familiar fear of "is this just life now?" and "am I settling into the typical routines?" As much as I've tried to fight it, maybe I've finally succumbed to the standard.

In those moments, I was desperately searching for some sort of inspiration. Something to spark that creative fire in me again.

But maybe it's okay to lose it for a while and be forced to find it again. To be sure it's still what you really want anyway.

I'm not sure what changed, but now I feel like I'm on the road to recovery. I'm not massively creative but I'm tackling small problems with InboxReads again and doing some writing too.

I even started making a mash-up of two songs I've been thinking of doing for months, and that's given me so much joy.

It reminded me of my life as a teenager. I tried everything. Every little idea I had, I attempted to bring to life. Websites, games, songs, books, comics, poems, movies, art. There wasn't an outlet I didn't try. And most of it sucked. But there was joy in the process. And every little bit of progress, every nugget of imagination realised, felt divine. I knew this was my life's calling. To chase ideas, to create, to share experiences, to impart emotions.

I'm not there yet. Life gets in the way. I get impatient. But it's still what I want. Nothing brings me as much joy. Maybe I needed a slump for comparison. To remember what the sun feels like after weeks of rain.