Let Me Be Delusional
Working in tech, you're bombarded by people with crazy goals and promises to change the world. Oftentimes, it's hard to tell if they're being delusional or just lying. But that attitude is what attracted me to this field.
The premise of aiming as high as possible and working towards it appealed a lot to a kid from a small town in a small country with lofty ambitions.
As I've been exposed to more of the industry, my views of it have changed. Many of those people are just lying. But my own personal ambitions have only grown loftier. Not in a changing the world with a new B2B tool way, but in a belief in the ability to change my life significantly if I aimed for it.
That has surprisingly made me regularly finding myself an outlier. When I was younger, I thought I'd meet like-minded people in the tech industry, but I've found that people are the same almost everywhere. Most people don't believe their lives can change significantly. They prioritise well-trodden paths and the stability that brings. Wisely if you're already comfortable or you know it can lead to enough comfort.
It's repeatedly left my beliefs to make me seem delusional.
This bothered me a lot when I was younger. I was aiming to get a job outside the country and make the kind of money I saw people making in big tech and I felt like I was being delusional. I turned down options for local jobs that would've paid more than I was making at the time. I felt like I was an unrealistic fool, and that others likely saw me the same, but somehow I kept trying.
Then I saw my life start changing.
10 years ago, I was in my first job after uni getting about $1000 a month.
10 years ago. I went on the second flight in my life. My first time out of the Caribbean.
8 years ago, I got a job paying $40K. My travels became a yearly thing.
4 years ago, I helped my mom build a house.
3 years ago ,I moved to London.
Now I travel multiple times a year.
I remember my first time going to a "restaurant" as a teenager (does TGIs count?). I remember my dad getting his first car. I remember when we'd buy a single meal and share.
My life has changed so much. I always believed it would change. Unrealistically so at times. But I've lived through it now.
Why would I not believe it could change just as much in the next 10 years?
Of course there's no single right path in life. Contentment is a blessing. But if you have this unwavering ambition and willingness to take risks and say no to things that don't feel right that's also a valid path.
Maybe it's something you're born with. Maybe it's bestowed from your parents. Maybe you need to experience it to really believe it.
When I get that familiar "you're delusional" look it doesn't bother me anymore. It used to fill me with self doubt just before the urge to prove them wrong drowned it out. Now I don't feel either. I just know I want to do these things and I'm going to keep trying.
So let me be delusional.
